Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
