I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
