Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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