4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
