I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
