we made out on top of his cat.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
