Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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