I must be too annoying 4 u.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
