On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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