Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
