how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
