I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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