no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
