You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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