It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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