You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
