I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
