i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
