I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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