Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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