I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
