Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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