I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
