why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I should be sponsored by Trojan
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
