I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
