i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
