just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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