Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
