His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
