3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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