You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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