how can u be prego again
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
