if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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