I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
