Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
