You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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