So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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