Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
