You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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