I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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