His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I love you. Go after that dick
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
