Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
