so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
