i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
