I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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