Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
