Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize