The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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