I faked an abortion last night.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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