you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
