This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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