guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
