Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
