Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
