Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
