This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize