Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
