Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
