He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
