North Korea, Best Korea!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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