i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
