I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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