wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
