she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
