don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
